Friday, November 09, 2007

Scabs


These are some ads I found on Craigslist for all the idiots who think this strike is a good opportunity to make some money. Can't you just smell the desperation and self-loathing?

1)

Ridiculously talented writer looking to teach a few billionaires a lesson. Sure you can pay $500,000 to Schlock Rosenworm to re-write an action sequence or Ted Stryker $150,000 to "punch up" a comedy over the weekend, but all they do is pawn it off on me for a 10% vig. With avarice getting the best of everybody, if you ACT NOW, you can cut out the middleman.

I've co-written scripts with Hollywood's top scribes, and unlike most of these alcoholics, I've got my sh*t together: Pitches, Pilots & Scripts, Oh My!

Note: I will not write for John Stewart. That #%^$@! owes me money ;)

Writing samples available by request only to legit email. Meetings in NYC next week and LA two weeks, unless same day R/T provided on Netjets, Marquis or private air (please no Cessnas!).


2)
is Craigslist an unlikely place to find a great script?

yesterday, maybe..but today you've found one.

I am the executor of the estate of an amazingly talented
playwright and I am taking this striking opportunity to
present this material to someone who can truly make a difference.

Already critically acclaimed, this masterfully wriiten work by an
African-American woman is epic in scope and universally appealing.

If you are a producer with vision and intuition then look no
further.

I await your email for more details.


3) Does your script need a polish, a punch-up or a page-one rewrite? Now that the WGA's on strike, who's going to massage the kinks out of your latest draft?

I graduated from Eastern Washington University in 2002 with a Bachelor's Degree in Film. That year, I also received the "Excellence in Screenwriting" award for my Senior Thesis script.

Since I moved to L.A., I've had one project after another fall through, thus keeping me from achieving any screen credits and making me eligible for membership in the WGA. I have, however, come very close to winning more than one screenwriting competition; two of my scripts made it through several rounds of the Nicholl Fellowships in 2006 and I was a finalist in the Screamfest L.A. contest that same year.

At any rate, I'm talented but astoundingly unlucky. Regardless, I view every setback as an opportunity, including this Writers Strike. Although it doesn't affect me personally (I currently work in advertising), it is going to diminish Hollywood's output for the time being, and I absolutely love movies. It's why I've been writing scripts since I was 16. And it's why I'm approaching you as a hungry writer.

Samples of my work are available upon request; please make sure you can download Final Draft documents on your PC. I've written in a variety of genres, but comedy, action, horror and sci-fi are what I prefer. I'm available for meetings in the evenings and on weekends. No deadline is too soon, no page count is too high.


4)
I can do the work of ten of these pampered WGA types. You have a TV show or movie that needs new material during this strike? I'm your man! I am an experienced writer in several genres who is looking to break into the industry. Don't give in to the WGA's demands! There are plenty of talented writers out there who can do what they do for less money! Give us a chance!

10 comments:

  1. Anonymous2:10 PM

    Those are lameness personified.

    Harry

    ReplyDelete
  2. Assholes and idiots, the lot of them. I hope they burn in scab hell for all eternity.

    ReplyDelete
  3. what douchebags.

    don't they know this strike will HELP them.


    posting on cragslist = not talented

    ReplyDelete
  4. Surely there must be a cat picture appropriate for this entry! Perhaps a Hyena picture would do? 8)


    Sadly, I'm no longer surprised at people who seek to take advantage of situations, no matter how immoral.

    ReplyDelete
  5. So let's respond t some of these guys and show them the same respect we show to Nigerian money launderers.
    .
    .
    .
    B

    ReplyDelete
  6. Ya gotta love "I'm talented but astoundingly unlucky". Reeeealllly.

    Methinks someone's protesting too much.

    ReplyDelete
  7. There was a cat picture appropriate for this post, unfortunately I couldn't freaking find it despite looking for half an hour, so I opted for Douchebag.

    Douchebags.

    And stupid, too, because even if they do land jobs they will never be allowed in the guild.

    ReplyDelete
  8. like the studios are desperate after only 5 days to start trolling Craigs List for hacks... I think they still have some old My Big Fat Greek Wedding cash tucked away somewhere to hold them over

    ReplyDelete
  9. It's stupid mainly because, without WGA writers, most productions are shutting down.

    What does that mean?

    That means, there is no NEED for new content.

    The best thing an asipring writer can do is crank out some really good scripts, get face time with people on the picket lines (namely those ever allusive showrunners that normally wouldn't have the time of day for you, but thanks to the strike have nothing but time to chat with aspiring writers), and hope that when the strike is over studios and prodcos are hungry for new material.

    There was a quote I loved that I can't seem to find from a pro screenwriter... it was to the effect:

    "I don't know what the big deal is. It's not like screenwriters aren't used to waiting 6 months betwee checks."

    That made me chuckle. The WGA's most vital weapon is the fact that Union writers are used to getting the shaft. At least now, something will be done about it... in new media hopefully.

    ReplyDelete

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