Friday, November 23, 2007

Me? Or Astro Man?

So there was this picture taken at the WGA protest last week that has appeared all over the place since then:

Her name is Emily Blake. As you can imagine, this picture has garnered a lot of interest among horny boys and various Russians.

But at first glance this does not appear to me be. I can see why people think it is, but I would never be seen in that outfit. Not during the day, anyway. Those shoes don't look comfortable. And look how short that dress is - you are about to see her everything any second now, which explains the horny boys and various Russians displaying so much interest.

Also, if I wore a strapless dress I would spend all day pulling it up. I would not lift my arms over my head at the risk of losing my tiny little stretch of fabric that barely covers anything anyway. Also, my arms aren't that spindly. I have muscles. So you know, I'm thinking, not me but thanks.

But then Friday I had twice as many hits as usual on my page and 100% more Russians than usual because everybody's looking for this girl and they think she's me.

So fuck it.

Yeah, that's me.

The way I figure it, one of four things happened.

1) This is the robot me. Soon she will show up at my door and take over my life and have me sent to Hell where I will be forced to play Death at various board games until I win the ability to get back to Earth to rescue the princesses.

2) I have a superpower of which I was previously unaware. I can be in multiple places at the same time. So I sent Ring Girl Emily out to the rally while Teacher Emily stayed in the classroom. But Ring Girl Emily doesn't want Teacher Emily to realize her power so she wiped my memory and will soon show up at my door and take over my life while the real me becomes more and more dull to the point where I start wearing tweed suits and paying my bills on time.

3) That's Alternate Universe Emily. Like on Sliders. She was out there on a mission to protect our dimension from the AMPTP because in her world, they have caused an apocalyptic rupture that destroyed everything. But now that she's saved the world through some deed we'll never understand, she'll show up at my door and take over my life and pretend she's the real Emily while she kills me and buries me in the park and starts the writing career I was supposed to have.

4) That's me from the future. I knew if I went out and got in that picture the hits on my site would double and some producer somewhere who really likes leggy blonds would find me and sign me to an eight picture deal. But none of that would ever have happened if Future Me hadn't come back and gone to the rally while Present Me was at work. Now Future Me has gone back to the future where my evil is law. If only she had come by before she left and explained how she keeps her hair that straight.

Man, I hope it's number four.

18 comments:

  1. Rolandov2:17 AM

    Hmm... Look: http://drugoi.livejournal.com/2408726.html?view=97177622#t97177622
    )))

    ReplyDelete
  2. That's what I'm talking about.

    Alas, I have no idea what they're saying.

    ReplyDelete
  3. once you've seen someone's everything you've seen them all anyway ha

    ReplyDelete
  4. Emily, that's your сompatriots who actually have broke this rally out - Yahoo has posted that very picture with a comment that it's Emily Blake who's holding this carton. And the essence of the aforementioned livejournal thread, which reposted the picture, is that people are baffled with a sheer discorrelation of the picture and a common idea of a female playwright outlook. In general male audience of that blog is admitting that this strike might serve popularization of the profession of screenwriter...

    ReplyDelete
  5. Thanks for clearing that up. Lot of people have been finding me while they look for this girl. I was even contacted by the photographer who wanted a more informative caption.

    And yes indeed, there are good looking screenwriters out there.

    ReplyDelete
  6. I think they've got a proof of that now :)

    And this is a link to yahoo's gallery:

    http://de.movies.yahoo.com/20112007/5/bild/21112007000558.html

    ReplyDelete
  7. Emily,

    The difference between you and "Robot Emily" is that you actually have a reason to be at those rallys. You can write. All she can do is hold up a sign and look good.

    BTW, this chick has been to every rally -- just to be seen. I saw her on day 5 in Century City.

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  8. Then that definitely goes to my growing theory that she's an actress, not a writer.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Hot chicks can write, too.

    Just saying.

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  10. Cathy said:

    "The difference between you and "Robot Emily" is that you actually have a reason to be at those rallys. You can write. All she can do is hold up a sign and look good."

    How do you know the Robot Emily can't write? That's a fairly ridiculous and prejudiced statement.

    ReplyDelete
  11. http://drugoi.livejournal.com/2412855.html

    ReplyDelete
  12. Anonymous5:19 AM

    helly superpower emily! you cool! @Crazy Russian

    ReplyDelete
  13. Thanks, Russians!

    For the record I am blond, just not as blond as she is.

    ReplyDelete
  14. You have muscles? I love muscles on women. There's nothing quite like being nearly over-powered.

    Well, let me stop before people get the wrong idea.

    How about pic with a nice flex?

    ReplyDelete
  15. Anonymous1:02 PM

    Hi, I dont know you, but i am russian and i saw your pics on Drugoi journal, so, yeah, he made some good advertising for you.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Nik van goff10:32 PM

    It may sound fuckin unbelievable but you're getting a Huge promotion in Russia! Seriously, i and other ppl like how you write (and look of course =). We support you. Keep on ! ))

    ReplyDelete
  17. Well, privyet, comrade.

    If'n I'd a known you were so HAWT, I'd have been way nicer way sooner.

    8^p
    .
    .
    .
    B

    ReplyDelete
  18. russkie medvedi (red squere + vodka)7:54 AM

    Wow! Hot privet from Moscow bears!

    ReplyDelete

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