Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Welcome to my life

Because I've had so many new people find their way here in the past month between the Russians and people looking for more strike stuff I thought I'd do a little introduction in case anybody's interested.

I am a high school teacher. I've been teaching high school for seven years now, four in a rural North Carolina town and three here in gangland, Los Angeles. My kids are mostly Latino and don't have much money and sometimes it's like pulling teeth to get them to do anything, but when they're good they're wonderful. I'd rather be here any day than up in Beverly Hills with the smartasses that think they know everything because their daddy drives a Beamer.

Maybe I'm a little hard on the white boys. I've had some bad experiences.

After work I go to kickboxing lessons with my Trainer or run around my neighborhood depending on the day. I love to watch boxing matches on the weekends. I really enjoy controlled violence but in a real-life setting I'm pretty passive. Unless you piss me off.

I'm from North Carolina originally but I'm not a redneck. People from my state love George Bush, Dale Earnhart and Clay Aiken. All three of those people give me brain hives. One of many reasons I now live in LA.

The main reason I'm in LA is to become a screenwriter. Film, TV, I don't care. Either will do as long as I'm working on stories. I like action movies the best. X Men 2, Pitch Black, The Matrix, Hero - these are some of my favorites. So far I've sold nothing but I haven't really tried because I'm not comfortable with the amount of solid material I have to offer. I just shot a short film with an amazing cast and crew and it's still in the editing phase and I'm currently working on a zombie script, shortly to be followed by a superhero action comedy.

I love LA and I have a theory that you should never turn down an invitation unless you absolutely have to. As a result I've had some fun times and met some great people. And whenever I do I write about it here.

I mostly try to write about writing and The Industry, but I also write about teaching and random things that happen to me and assorted other events. I try to make it funny. Sometimes I succeed.

I hate clowns. They are evil and must be destroyed.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer was the best show ever on television. If you don't believe that you clearly have no soul.

Just kidding. Farscape and Angel are also acceptable favorite shows.

So welcome. If you have questions, ask. I love questions.


  1. Howdy,
    What's the hottest after hours spot in LA? I will be back soon for a vacation.

  2. Depends. Are you looking for a dive bar or a trendy club? For bars I like the Bowery and the Snow White bar in Hollywood. For clubs I like Cinespace, but that's usually difficult to get into.

    If you don't care about trendy and just want to dance like a crazy person, Bang on the corner of Hollywood and La Brea is good. It's not the greatest club ever, but there's plenty of room on the three dance floors and nobody will make you beg for entry. The DJs are kind of iffy though.

  3. Cool, thx. I just like to dance and scream like a crazy person, so the large dance floor is best.

    Fortunately, I can dance to anything - though I may not want to.
    Have you tried to get in any of the clubs like Les Deux? Judging by some of the "not-so-well-dressed" folks I saw in some footage on TMZ, they may need to be a little more "discriminating."

  4. I've never even heard of that club. The last trendy place I went to was Green Door which had a fantastic decor but really snobby service and we didn't feel like sticking around.

  5. Not a problem. I guess you're not looking for the actresses. They hang there and at this other one in W Hollywood.

    I made a bet I could make Britney blush. j/k. sort of.

  6. Anonymous12:09 PM


    PLEASE! I favor "My So-Called Life," and I do have a soul, thank you very much.

    Though there is very little (or no) violence/action/fighting in its 13 episodes, you must give it a chance to enter your pantheon.

    (who signed in as Anonymous because I didn't want to create an account)

  7. Well okay, Melissa.

    But only because I was massively in love with Jordan Catalano.

    Mmmmm Jared Leto.

  8. Anonymous2:59 PM

    OK ... dunno if this is the sort of question you were thinking of but I've mislaid the digital liquid paper so it's too late now.

    What's the most insane or unusual moment from your life that has made it into one of your scripts?



  9. I like this asking questions thing.

    Let's see....

    There's the time a spider laid eggs in a friend of mine's ass and I put it in my House spec, but that's not really something that happened to me...

    There was this guy I was casually hooking up with - sort of a friends with benefits thing - and one night at a party at his house I was all set to stay and do that thing we always do. So I knocked on his door and he answered it, shirtless with a girl on his bed.

    My purse was in there so I had to reach under the bed where the giggling girl was to get it.


    I am now good friends with both of them, but that's the opening scene to Bamboo Killers.

    Not the most exciting story, I know, but it's the most exciting one I've used so far.

  10. Anonymous3:24 PM

    Heh - really? The Office fan in me - that's me, I haven't eaten one - is loving that.

    Mind you the Beavis and Butthead fan I just ate is gawping at the spiders up the ass (of course I would say arse) story.

    Does your friend know that they are almost stumbling into urban legend territory?



  11. You forgot to mention Firefly!

    Also, what advice would you have about making a short film? I've been toying with the idea for a while since I have a story which seems to lend itself to that format more then any other I've thought about. Any suggestions for books to read on how to go about it? Unfortunately, at least for making films, I live in Melbourne Australia, so the resources aren't as available as they are in LA.

  12. Of course Firefly! What was I thinking?

    The short film question is good. I'll do a post on that tomorrow.

    Way more people know WAY more than me but I'll do my best.

  13. Thanks for opening up, kiddo. You've got wit to burn, but sometimes in your presence I feel like Steve Carell's character in "40 Year Old Virgin" when confronted by his friends in "Beth's" house he confesses, "I don't know what I'm doing here... but there's something about that girl that scares the shit out of me."

    With you bend towards action/adventure you should focus on writing feature films. But on the TV side, what do you think about NBC's "Chuck?" I still can't believe the networks were able to put a show opposite "How I Meet Your Mother" that made me switch channels.

    Emily, keep being cool.

    - E.C. Henry from Bonney Lake, WA

  14. I love Chuck!

    Clearly you missed my post about how awesome Captain Awesome is.

    He's awesome.

  15. So, in the ring, who would win you or Maggie Fitzgerald?

    And, if you had caught that purse snatcher, would you have kicked his ass?

  16. Oh God, Maggie would beat my ass.

    I've only been training for two years and not nearly at her level.

    And I might have been able to fight the guy if I caught him but 1)I was drunk and 2)there were 2 of them.

    So I'm glad I didn't catch him.

    I'm also glad I knocked his ass down. He was a bit surprised by that.

  17. This one is for Leif, who left no way to contact him.

    Leif - I've had two films made in Australia - one in Geelong and the other in Sydney. Off the top of my head, the best thing you could do is check out what options are available from your local University. It's possible that, even if you aren't enrolled in the school, that the profs might let you sit in on a few classes, in order to meet other, like-minded film folks.

    Also, consider looking into local film festivals - there are probably a few smaller ones in your area, and it's possible you'll be able to meet up with some folks who share your interests there.

    (For what it's worth, I'm in Wisconsin, which ain't a boomin' film state, and I can name at least three major groups within a two-hour drive that make short films on a semi-regular basis.)

  18. Two words:

    Clown Boxing!

    Good to know that you're up and on top of things. Sorry to hear about that unfortunate series of events.

  19. Anonymous5:27 AM

    Hi Emi!

    Do you really believe that someone still interesting in scenarious with supermans? :)

    I think that Hollywood really suffering from absence of something new in scenarious.

    What will be when all F.Dick novvels will be used for movies? :)


  20. I wish I knew what that means.

    Are you asking about whether or not we'll get more Superman movies? Or super heroes in general?

    I think superheroes will always be relevant, and recently we've had a lot of TV shows take advantage of that fact: Bionic Woman, Heroes, The Sarah Conner Chronicles, Journeyman, Chuck, Reaper.

    So I think films are moving away from superheroes, at least for now, and the TV market is taking over.

  21. Anonymous2:52 AM

    Actually, I have a feeling, that scenarious for movies today quite pale. They just repeating tricks already used in other (probably old) scenarious.

    I think, that now it really difficult to find modern and at the same time original scenario...

    What do you think about it?

    Br, Alexander

  22. Anonymous2:57 AM

    and one addition...

    Yes now a lot of TS shows used "superhero" idea, but what about evolution in for TV shows? Do you really think that your scenarious become popular if you will use only traditional rules in your stories?

    Br, Alexander

  23. Hell, Shakespeare did not come up with the plot for Romeo and Juliet, so yes, everything has been done before. The difference is the way you tell the story. There will always be new ways.

    Some of the shows do it well, some don't. It just depends on what you are into.

  24. Anonymous1:03 PM

    Do you like Dexter series?


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